Melancholic, very nice song..

So yes i'm having brain explosions left and right.

For most of you, you probably don't know that I am a very anti-social person..no I don't have Antisocial personality disorder; which is a psychiatric condition characterized by an individual's common disregard for social rules, norms, and cultural codes, as well as impulsive behavior, and indifference to the rights and feelings of others.

I just don't like being social.

It may seem odd but it's true; I've recently discovered I do a lot of one person things. Examples: Reading, Drawing, Sleeping, Thinking..etc.

Even things that aren't a one person thing I turn into a one person thing. Example: Most people enjoy cooking or baking with friends or family while I enjoy very much to do it alone.

I'm normally not sad about me being so gosh darn lonely, but at times when someone mentions to me that I need to "Make friends"
I sit and think on it for a long while.

That's what happened to me when my brother came over for the holidays some time ago.

See the weird thing is at work I am social, for crying out loud I'm in the customer service business! So yes I talk to customers or associates but it ends there. They stay my customers and my associates nothing more...

I've had friends when I attended school; I was very much a social young person through my grade and middle school. I guess somewhere a long the way I lost my social-ness, during that same time I became very active on the internet. Using that as my way of being social..haha very funny.

It soon became such a problem that the only times I ever went out was during school and that was it. I'm sad to say it but it's still that way.

Lack of transportation or money may be the cause of that..it's just a guess.

It used to be worse though, even when I was invited to go out I never would.

There is still a lot that I have to work on, but there are times where I wish for a friend. No don't get me wrong you are all my buddies, but having no one here with me really sucks.

I've never had a friend to do things with outside of school, and I always feel there must be something wrong with me.

I'm so mixed up in my head I'm never too sure what I want.

Yes, friends would be nice but I like doing alone things too much.
It's weird, but I live not being happy nor sad..not being depressed or angry...just living waiting for whatever is to come next.

Anyways~~ Aside from the rant I should be getting my ink pens today!! Meaning I will be doing sketches in what little time I have.

Oreintation is this week and it's from 6-10P and well It takes a good hour or so to get there..

Next week I have training so I won't have much time there either.
But no worries work is good, it gets me out of the house and allows me to think.

FYI thinking is one of my favorite things to do. Yes, thinking.

Thinking of very imagitave stories.

I've got a good three or four stories in my head.

ha oh yes that also reminds me I've made a new account but I'm not sure if I'll use it.

I know I keep changing my mind, but we'll see.


YOU GET AN E-COOKIE IF YOU READ AND COMMENT...

((I don't think many will))

I hope this didn't sound to depressing or sad in any way, I didn't mean for it to sound like that at all..just stating the facts on my life.

PS this is probably it for a good long while.

I may or may not come back to let you know my new account name.

I'll watch those who I:
1. love their art
2. know will respond and give me advice

adios!